Lost Love
by Jakie Marie
Summary: Now updated! Okay, this is for all you Lan/Nyn people out there! Nyn and Mogie battle it out, but the cost may be too high.
1. Rooftop battle

Mashiara Mashiara 

IMORTANT: READ THIS MESSAGE!!! Hello, my name at ff.net is Jakie Marie. This story contains spoilers, if you have not read book seven and wish to keep the story unspoiled, return to the previous page. If you have not read the other books, stay at your own risk, I may accidentally put in a few more spoilers that I am not aware of. Please R&R, and please, only constructive flames. 

READ THIS TOO: This is an AWOTP (alternate weave of the Pattern). In this story, Lan, refuses to go to Nynaeve, because of his need to protect her - even, from himself, and from guilt of being unfaithful to her with Myrelle. Rand has given her Lan's message, and Nynaeve has given up on their relationship, thinking that he is truly no longer in love with her, if he ever was, and is going about her business with the black ajah as usual. If I get the locations of some of our major characters wrong, please let me know so I can change it. 

EBOU DAR: FESTIVAL OF BIRDS   
  
The streets were crowded. The streets were crowded by people wearing very colorful outfits. Nynaeve al'Mera sighed. There was no way to get to the Palace on time. Elayne would just have to be patient. She successfully made it around another corner, just in time to see an all-to-familiar face enter a building a few feet ahead of her. 

It can't be, she thought, it just can't be. Nevertheless, she followed the woman into the building, and began to search it for a trace of the other woman. Her search led her to the roof. There on the edge stood her quarry. 

Nynaeve wasted no time with a warning. One instant she stood there, the next she was letting a weave of saidar at the other women. The woman turned in time to counter the shield.   
"Your getting better Moghedien. You actually countered the weave." Nynaeve said sarcastically as she flung a weave of water to clash with Moghedien's weave of fire. The struggle continued, neither women landing a blow. Nynaeve felt her legs begin to weaken, and she knew that she couldn't last much longer. 

ROYAL PALACE: ELAYNE'S ROOMS   
  
Elayne sighed. Nynaeve was late for the meeting with the Seafolk. Leave it to her to just not show up. Mat and his men were posted all over the palace, hoping to see her. I am going to kill that woman when I get my hands on her, leaving me to deal with the Seafolk by myself. Elayne sighed once again.   
  
Elayne turned to the Seafolk Windfinders and Sailmistresses. "It looks like we had better start without Nyneave. I can't imagine what is keeping her. This is nothing like her."   
Just as they were about to start bargaining, Elyane's head shot up, as did the heads of the Windfinders. There was an awesome amount of Saidar being used. Elayne knew deep down that Nyneave was involved. "Nyneave", she whispered.   
  
Without thinking, she ran out of her room and down the corridor. She saw Mat walking toward her. His hat was in his hand and he was a little dusty from being outside.   
  
"Elayne, I looked, I can't find her anywhere."   
  
"Never mind Mat, there is some massive channeling down in the market. Nyneave must be there. If not, that is where she'll go if she feels it. Gather what men you can, and quickly, there is no time to waste."   
  
Mat stared for a moment then nodded and ran down the corridor shouting at her to meet him in front of the Palace. He ran on, scattering servants in his wake. Elayne, grabbed a passing servant, gave him a message to carry to Tylin. That done, she too ran.   
  
By the time she reached the front of the Palace, Mat had assembled most of his band, Aviendha and Brigitte. He had even managed to get horses saddled. Mat helped her into her saddle and off they went. The streets were crowded with people preparing for the festival and it took what seemed forever to get to the right street.   
  
There was a momentary lull in the channeling and they stopped in frustration, looking from building to building, waiting for a hint of where to go. Then it started again. 

Rooftop Battlefield: 

Nyneave sagged as Moghedien managed to land yet another blow. She couldn't last much longer, and she knew it. So did Moghedien. Moghedien started the weave made to finish her off when the door to the roof burst open. There stood Elayne and Mat, Brigitte and Aviendha, and what looked to be some of Mat's men. 

Moghedien changed the weave to hit them. Nyneave watched in horror as her closest friends drooped to their knees at the unexpected attack. I can't let her hurt them. While Moghedien busied herself with the Elayne and the others, laughing as she avoided their attacks, she began to weave again. Moghedien felt it and whirled, hurling her weave at Nyneave just before let go with hers.   
  
Nyneave didn't have time to try to defend herself , just to feel mind numbing, excruciating pain. Just to see Moghedien fall under the force of her own weave. Then darkness.   
Mat watched as Moghedien and Nyneave collapsed. His heart in his throat he knelt down next to Moghedien to feel her pulse, as Elayne did the same for Nyneave. He couldn't find a pulse.   
"Moghedien is dead." 

He looked over at Elayne she was on her knees beside Nyneave, weeping. He couldn't tell if Nyneave was, if she was- "Is she - I mean will she be-". He couldn't even complete that thought. Nyneave might be a pain most of the time, but she was a friend, she had watched him grow-up, taken care of him when he was hurt. He didn't want her hurt. 

Brigitte's whisper was so quiet he almost missed it. "She lives, for now." Brigitte put her arms around Elayne as she continued to cry. Nalesean scooped Nyneave up. She was as limp as a doll. Slowly, so as not to jar Nyneave, they made their way to the Palace. 

Ebou Dari Palace: An hour later 

Mat paced up and down the hall outside Nyneave's room. The healer had kicked them out the minute they had gotten there. Elayne, Aviendha and Brigitte were huddled together near the door. No one had said a word since reaching the palace. The only sound was the echoing of Mat's own footsteps and the occasional sniffle from Olver. He had refused to go to his room. Not that anyone could blame him. He had lost both his parents and now he might lose another adult in his life. 

The minutes ticked by slowly, each trickling after the other. Just when Mat thought that he was going to go insane, the door opened. The healer came out. Mat could tell by the look on her face that it wasn't good news. 

"We've done all we can. She was severely weak when she took that weave, and that weave was just too much for her mind and body to take. It did no internal damage, but exhaustion is literally killing her." 

"Is there any chance she'll make it through?" Asked Elayne, sobs evident in her voice. 

"There is always a chance, Nyneave is a fighter, - healers tend to be very stubborn about their injuries. However, it is only going to get worse before it can get better, and worse might very well kill her. I wouldn't hold out much hope for survival, she will need a miracle. I'm sorry." 

"May we see her?" Asked Aviendha. 

The healer was quiet for a moment. Finally she sighed. "You may see her for a few minutes." Aviendha, Elayne, Brigitte, Olver, and Mat all headed to the door. Only to stopped. "Wait, no more then two at a time, for no more then ten minutes, only when she is awake, if she falls asleep get out of the room, and no more then one visit an hour." With that the healer left, saying she would return in a little while. 

After a few minutes of discussion, it was agreed that Elayne and Aviendha would go first so that Elayne could contact Egwene and Aviendha could contact the Wise Ones, and through them, Rand. When their time limit was up, Elayne and Aviendha, came out. Aviendha was grim faced and Elayne was in tears. Mat and Olver went to his room to rest until their turn came. Olver was very upset and standing outside the room would do no good. Brigitte volunteered to stay behind with the healer.   


So what do you think? Did you like it? Constructive flames only, please. Just telling me it stank won't help me any. I need five reviews before I post the next chapter. The wheel weaves as the wheel wills. Nyn and Lan 4ever! 


	2. Decions of the Heart

chapter 2 Thanks to everyone who reviewed. You all get bonus points. This chapter is for you. 

Egwene waited impatiently for Elayne. She was unusually late. She sighed. It had been a long day, the Hall had been unusually stubborn today. She just wanted to get some real sleep. Just when she was ready to leave, thinking Elayne wasn't going to show up, she appeared.   
Egwene fought the urge to gasp. Elayne's face was worn and tired. She looked exhausted and frightened. Elayne half ran, half stumbled to Egwene, and collapsed in her arms, in tears. It was several minutes before Elayne could pull herself together.   
"Nynaeve has been hurt. She was fighting Moghedien. She took a weave meant for the rest of us." Egwene felt a lump growing in the back of her throat. She cleared her throat. "Will she be alright?"   
"We don't - we don't know. The healer did all she could with herbs, but she has an awfully high fever, she is very weak, and is very pale." Elayne said with another sob.   
"Why didn't you just Heal her with Saidar? Why use herbs?" Egwene asked, something just didn't add up.   
"She is too weak. Healing takes some of the energy from the one being Healed. She has no energy to spare. Healing her with Saidar would kill her for sure. The healer said she is dying of exhaustion." Elayne broke down crying again. This time Egwene joined her.   
All Egwene could do was cry as she kept repeating the words dying and weak over and over in her head. After what seemed like ages, the two of them regained their composure. Egwene watched Elayne leave after promising to be there in the morning.   
She stepped out of the Dream World back to her body. She had two things to do before she could go. She had to tell the Hall, and she had to inform Lan. She wasn't sure which would be harder. 

2 Hours Later 

As she stood outside the cave where Myrelle had said Lan was staying tonight, Egwene decided that this would be much harder then telling Hall she would be leaving for a few days had been. She had to call his name three times before he answered back with a gruff "Come in". Swallowing, she stepped inside.   
Lan was seated on the floor of the cave, not far from the entrance. He was sharpening a knife. Egwene reached for Saidar, ready to snatch the knife from him if necassary. She knelt across from him, eye to eye.   
"Lan, I have some bad news. Nynaeve has been hurt." She watched his reaction closely. The only reaction visible was a slight tightening of his eyes and an almost imperceptible tremor in his hands.   
He said only one word. But that one word carried a wealth of emotions. "How?" As she searched for the right words to tell him, he sat up straighter and put down the knife and sharpening stone. "How?" He repeated. How do you tell someone that the one person they love beyond life itself is dying? She finally decided that if the situation was reversed and it was Gawyn, she'd prefer that the news was given straight up.   
"She was fighting Moghedien. Moghedien sent a weave at the others, but Nynaeve jumped in front of it, and took the full assault by herself. That with everything else she threw at her was too much. She had enough strength to kill Moghedien with a final blow before she passed out. She hasn't woken up yet."   
"Will she be alright?" His face was tight and the shaking in his hands had increased.   
"They're not very optimistic. The palace healers said that she will probably die. I'm going there in a few minutes. Are you coming?" She added that last bit after he started shaking his head.   
"No. I've caused her too much pain. I will not cause her any more. She has moved on with her life. The last thing, the last thing she needs is me there stirring up old memories."   
She couldn't belive her ears. Did he truly think that not being there for her would cause her less pain. She resisted the urge to shake some sense into him. Slowly, carefully, she tried to make him see sense, with Lan wincing with every question. "Think, Lan, I know you love her. You know you love her. But she doesn't know that. Do you really want her to die thinking that you don't love her? That maybe you never loved her? Don't you want to tell her you love her one more time? Don't you want to hold her, see her one last time?"   
He drew a shuddering breath. "Of course I do. I want all those things. I dreamed of spending the rest of my life with her. It broke my heart when you gave me her message when she found out about Myrelle. I made her cry after swearing I wouldn't. I broke her heart one to many times, I'll not do it again."   
"Lan, if the situation was reversed, wouldn't you rather know she loved you?"   
"Yes, but I have not gotten over her. She was moved on with her life." That last sentence was filled with all the pain, guilt, and broken dreams he had been holding in. His shoulders heaved once in a silent, tearless sob.   
"She hasn't gotten over you either. She still loves you. Lan, you have wasted time these past weeks that you could have spent with her. This is it. If you waste this time, you'll never get another chance. Do you really think that you'll be able to live with your self if you don't go see her?"   
Lan's eyes turned inward, he seemed to be struggling with himself. Finally he looked her in the eyes and nodded. "When do we leave?" 

Da da dan…. More coming soon. Please review.   
  
  



	3. Unhappy Reunion

Chapter 3 Sorry that this chapter took so long to get up. Thanks to every one who reviewed. I have a question. What do you all think of a multiple ending ending? That way every one could chose the ending that they like best. Let me know what you think. You can contact me at Jakiemarie@hotmail.com. 

Chapter Three 

Aviendha waited impatiently in the room that had been cleared for traveling. Rand had already arrived and was at present with Nyneave. She woke up in fits and starts and when she woke up, she fell back asleep after only a few minutes. In Aviendha's opinion, that was a good sign.   
Aviendha repressed the urge to shudder as she remembered how Nyneave had looked when she had visited her. Nyneave had deep circles under her eyes. Her voice was weak and it was an obvious strain for her to talk. Nyneave could not even sit up by herself. It was frightening.   
Aviendha could tell the others were frightened too. They had all known Nyneave to be a strong woman. She had a temper and could be quite fierce at times. But, they had all seen her tend to people who needed her healing. She was never tiring in her devotion to those she loved and those that needed her. To see so strong a woman so weak was a shock. She looked smaller then ever, little more than a child by Aiel standards.   
Strangely enough. The people who seemed the most upset were Rand and Mat. Rand usually spoke of Nyneave in such a way that made it nearly impossible to believe that he was more then remotely close to her. Mat had been the real shock. He became so protective and concerned for Nyneave that one would think that she was his mother or sister.   
At that moment, Aviendha's thoughts were interrupted by the flash of light that signified a women Traveling. The woman was of course, Egewene. As Egewne stepped through, Aviendha saw to her amazement, Lan Mandragoran. There was something almost frightening about the look on his face.   
They said nothing to each other. Aviendha merely started walking and they followed. As they worked their way to the room across from Nyneave's that had become a gathering room. Every one was their, waiting for some news. Rand had just come out of Nyneave's room. He was sitting in a chair, crying. Min was at his side not trying to comfort him, just giving him the reassurance of her presence.   
Every one looked up at their entrance, hoping it was the healer with some good news. When they saw Egewene and Aviendha they gave half-hearted smiles and went back to their brooding. However, when a moment later, Lan entered, Elayne and Rand jumped to their feet. Lan looked at them and waited for them to make the first move.   
Rand scowled and his hand went to his missing sword. Elayne was more direct. She walked right up to Lan. She used a flow of air to yank his head down level to hers. Then she slapped him. Hard.   
She released the flow of air and Lan's head snapped up. Elayne then turned and calmly returned to her seat. Mat, Olver, and Min, being the only people not knowing what was going on blinked and looked around for some explanation. However, before they could ask what the slap had been for, the healer came in and announced that if someone else wanted to see Nyneave, they could. Lan whipped around and started to leave. However, he stopped just short of the door. He tried to move forward and stopped.   
"Let me see her Elayne." His words were cold and hard, tired and desperate all at once.   
Elayne shook her head. "It is not me. Though it is a good idea, Rand. I assume since I can not see the weave that it is you?"   
"Yes. Lan, I will not let you hurt her again. She's in enough pain right now. She doesn't need you to add to it." This of course made since to everyone but Mat, Min and Olver. They just looked more confused then ever.   
Lan had not moved. His stance was identical to Rand's. They were like to wolves fighting for dominance. "Why don't you let her decide what she needs and what she does not need."   
"She's in no condition to make you leave. She can't channel and can not even sit up by herself."   
"What makes you think she will not want to see me?" That last sentence was quiet and soft. However, it was the softness that often comes before drastic action by desperate men.   
By now, Egewene was thoroughly disgusted. Just like men to waste precious moments arguing over something that only Nyneave could decide.   
"Oh for the love of the Light. I'll go see her. I will ask her if she wants to see you, Lan. You will abide by her decision. Both of you." Both men opened their mouths to argue with her. "No arguing. Nyneave can decide who she wants to see. And one of you should really explain what is going on to Min, Olver, and Mat. They look silly with their mouths hanging open."   
With that, she swept toward the door. As she passed Lan, she dimly recalled that Rand must have removed the block. She opened the door to Nyneave's room and softly walked in. Nyneave was lying in a bed surrounded by white pillows.   
She looked so different. Her eyes were closed, but that couldn't hide the look of weariness in her face. Her cheeks were taunt. Her eyes were sunken in and they had bags under them. She was pale and even breathing seemed to be a chore for her.   
She opened her eyes when she heard Egewene coming. She tried to smile, but the smile turned into a grimace of pain. Egewene rushed to her side. She sat down on the bed, careful not jar Nyneave.   
"I take it - I take it that you heard." Nyneave's voice was course and weak. Before Egewene could answer her, she started coughing. When she stopped coughing, Egewene was slightly surprised to see the tears in her eyes.   
"Please do not cry. Every thing will be all right. I promise."   
Nyneave smiled and her mouth to talk. Egewene placed a finger on her mouth and told her not to talk. For the next few minutes the two women sat in silence. Comforting each other. 

Ten minutes later: 

Lan paced the room across the hall. After everyone had been brought up to date on the current state of his love life, or lack there of, they had all left. Leaving him to brood over his mistakes and pray for another chance. He was so lost in his misery that he almost didn't hear Egewene come in.   
"When can I see her?"   
Egewene just looked at him and shook her head. She turned and closed the door. Leaving him alone to mourn his broken heart. Leaving him alone to cry until no tears would come, and, to curse the day he had ever met the woman who held his heart in both hands. To curse the day that he had broken her heart. And to curse the Pattern that ripped from him every chance of happiness. 

So, what do you think?   
  



	4. Visit in the night

Okay, here is chapter 4. Thanks to everyone who reviewed. 

QUESTION: I asked this last time but didn't get a very good response. What   
do you people think about alternate endings so that you can pick   
the ending that suits you best? I ask this because I have several   
endings in mind but can't choose one. Please either give me   
your opinion in a review or e-mail me at:   
Jakiemarie@hotmail.com   


Chapter Four:   
The night was quiet and the moon was full. Under the cover of the night and his warder's cloak, Lan left his room and started down the hall. He was careful to avoid the servants who were still out and the occasional guardsman. Finally he reached his destination. Nyneave's room.   
The door was unlocked and he slipped right in. The room was very dark. The only light came from two candles on a table next to the sleeping healer. Lan didn't know her name, nor did he care. His only care was his love in the next room, dying and alone.   
It had taken what seemed years, but was in reality no more than a few hours for his grief to subside enough to allow rational thoughts to start forming. He had to see her. Every part of him screamed out to see her, to prove to himself that it wasn't true. That she would get better. But how? his mind had asked. She was guarded all day and all night.   
Then it had come to him. There was only one person with her at night, and that was the healer. The healer was undoubtedly tired and must be asleep. If he wore his cloak, and was careful, the few people out in the hall wouldn't notice him. All he had to do was slip into the shadows when they came near and not move. He hadn't been able to get past getting into her room. He was too sick at heart and too dazed by grief to think that far in advance.   
Now that he was here, he realized that he didn't know what room she was in. Silently, but with rising urgency, he began opening the several doors that branched off from the main anteroom. After a few minutes of search, he found it. Entering the room, he closed the door silently behind him. The window in her room was closed but the shades were pulled back and moonlight streamed into the room. And onto the bed where Nyneave lay.   
He had to hold in a violent gasp at the sight of her. She lay there so weak, so pale and so still. So still that for one heart-stopping moment he feared that he was too late. But then she uttered a soft whimper of pain. He let out he breath he didn't know he'd held in relief, then instantly felt guilty at being relived that she was in pain. Slowly he walked over to the side of the bed and fell to his knees beside her. He looked at her for a moment before he began to talk.   
"I'm so sorry my love. If I had just come to you when I had the chance, the first time that Egewene found me, you'd be alright. But I was to bloody stupid. I couldn't see past my own grief, my loss. Moiraine and her safety had been my life for over twenty years. When I felt the bond snap I lost my wits. I wanted to die. I still do. But when it happened, the need to die was so strong that I was sure I'd never make it to Myrelle. I wanted to die knowing that you wouldn't be hurt. Even if I lived, I knew the methods the Green sisters use. I-I thought that maybe if I'd told you to find another man, that maybe I could die with a clear conscience.   
It didn't work. On my way to Myrelle, I kept finding chance after chance to die, but my bond with her gave me enough control not to seek death. I simply didn't avoid danger. I saw lots of something else on that trip. I saw love.   
Every time that I was in a village or town, everywhere I looked I saw people in love. Doing the things that we used to do. I saw a young couple having a picnic lunch on a river bank like we did beside that stream in Falme. In a city I saw a couple walking around the market place. In the commonrooms of inns I seemed to be surrounded by couples eating dinner together, I saw them dancing. All I could do was sit there and remember those days in Tear. We were so happy there. Even seeing people fight with their spouses brought back memories. I kept thinking back to that last night in Falme, that big fight that we had."   
He had to stop for a moment as he was overwhelmed with the memories. He spent a few minutes kneeling by her side, his head bowed. She hadn't moved or stirred since that whimper when he first entered. Lan wasn't sure whether this was a good or bad sign. With a shuddering breath, he continued.   
"And later, in Myrelle's camp, all I could think of was you and Moiraine. I wanted to see you again. I wanted to know if you still loved me. I wondered if you had gotten my message. I wasn't sure which would be worse. To spend the remainder of my life wondering if you still loved me or whether you had found comfort in the arms of another man. Just the thought of you with another man drove me mad with jealousy and pain. But I wasn't sure if knowing would make me feel better. At least that way, I could hope and I could dream.   
Believe me, I dreamed. Every night I dreamed of you. There were three dreams that I dreamed over and over. Every time the circumstances were different, but the result, the theme was always the same. I had one of them a night. I still can't decide which one was worse. They all hurt me.   
In the first dream I would always find you in the arms of another man. The man and I would fight over you. When the fight was over, it didn't matter who had won -though in my dreams it was usually me- you would run to him. You would turn your back to me and help him up. I never saw his face. It was always blurred.   
The second dream was much like the first. Only, I could tell that you didn't want to be in that man's arms. I knew you were fighting him. We would fight for you and I would win. Then you would run to me, but I always woke up before you reached me.   
The third dream was different. You were by yourself. Usually you were on a hill. I would come to you and you would smile and hold out your arms. We would stay there, just holding each other. No one ever spoke.   
I don't know what is worse. Seeing you with another man, loving you and being loved by you but not able to touch you, or to spend the night with you in my arms only to awake to find you gone. I love you. I always have. I always will. If I have to sneak into see you, then so be it."   
With that, he stood up and bent down over her. He smoothed some hair from her face with gentle fingers. He then closed his eyes and kissed her forehead. "I love you, now and forever. No matter what happens, I will always love you." She sighed and Lan closed his eyes, trying to capture the moment.   
Lan's eyes snapped open as he felt someone looking at him.   


So, how was it? Let me know about the alternate endings please. Please review.   



	5. Ending A

Alright people, I have decided to do alternate endings. I got some comments for it, but none against it. This first one is for all you people who like happy endings. If you can't stand happy endings, I suggest you check back in a little while for the less happy endings. You have been warned. 

Chapter 5a. 

Lan looked down at Nyneave to see her looking up at him. Her face was painfully neutral. He couldn't tell how much she had heard. He waited for her to make the first move. It would be too dangerous to try to guess her mood.   
She just looked at him for a moment. Her eyes were haggard and quiet. The fire that he had always seen in her eyes was little more then embers. After a few moments of silence, she looked pointedly at a chair on the other side of the room. He got the message. He brought the chair over to the side of the bed. She motioned for him to set down.   
"Why are you here you? Didn't you get my message?" Her voice was soft and quiet. In the back of his mind, a little voice whispered, weak. He pushed that thought away.   
"I got your message. But I had to see you." He made his tone match hers. He didn't want to awaken the healer. This was too important for an interruption.   
"Why?" Lan nearly cried at the tone of her voice. It was full of pain and suffering. Pain and suffering he had caused.   
"Because I love you."   
Her tone was wry and ironic, " Not enough apparently."   
He froze. Just what was that supposed to mean? He loved her more then words could say. If she died, he would follow her in to the grave. He told her that. But she just shook her head weakly.   
"No, you don't love me as much as you think you do. If you did, I wouldn't have been second in your thoughts. You always pushed me away. Always told me to find someone else. No, don't interrupt. You did and you know it. That last message, it was the last straw. You only think you love me."   
Lan just sat there. He had made a terrible mistake. A lot of mistakes. How could he make them up to her? How could he earn her forgiveness? What could he say?   
"Nyneave, I have made mistakes. I have made a lot of them. I shouldn't even have the nerve to speak to you after all I've done, I have to say this. I love you. I don't just think I love you, I love you, cherish you, adore you, and -if you'll let me- I'll spend the rest of my life with you."   
Nyneave just shook her head again. "Lan, this is all very sweet, but have you ever considered the fact that I might not love you any more?"   
Lan felt a hand clench around his heart. He couldn't believe what she had just said. No matter what had happened she had always believed in their love. It was a constant in his life, her belief in their love. He couldn't fathom life without her. He didn't want to. Life without her wouldn't be life.   
"No, I haven't." Her eyebrows quirked up at that. "I refuse to. I will spend the rest of eternity making you love me again. I will not let you go this time. I won't. I have wasted enough of our time together."   
"You think you could make me love you?"   
That was it. His nerves snapped. He couldn't bear to hear her talking like this.   
"Nyneave, unless you look me in the eyes and say you love me, I swear that I'll, that I'll, that I'll carry you to the nearest wise woman and make them marry us. At sword point if I have to!"   
She was quiet at that. Then she looked him in the eyes. "Do you really mean that? Do you feel that strongly about it?" At his emphatic nod, she smiled. The first smile he had seen from her is oh so long. "Then you had better start carrying away!"   
At first he was crushed. He heard her words and felt his heart break. Then he looked in her eyes. They held that old fire and spirit. And love. They held love. He let out a cry of joy and threw himself at her.   
They hugged each other until the sun came up. When there was light enough to write by, Lan wrote the others a note using the paper and pen in her desk, telling them they would be back around noon. He then picked her up, and true to his word, carried her to the nearest wise woman. They were married by the light of dawn, but unlike the light, their love would never dim. 

The end of Ending 1! What'cha think? Like? Want another ending? Let me know.   



	6. Ending B

Alright people, here is ending B! Thanks to those of you who reviewed. This chapter won't be near as fluffy, I promise. If you have an idea for an ending that you would like me to write, email me at Jakiemarie@hotmail.com.   
Warning! There is a slight spoiler for WH here. And I am taking liberty with the timeline again. I don't think Mat ever met Logain, but this is my story and in my story he met him at the Tower. Oh, and those of you who don't like to see Nyneave with anyone else might want to wait till the next chapter. 

Ending B 

He spun around to see the healer standing in the door. The moonlight fell on her face, and he could see that she was scowling.   
"Alright, you've seen her. Now get out!" she whispered commandingly. "It is a wonder you didn't wake her up."   
He allowed her to herd him out of the room, understanding that she knew more about what Nyneave needed then he did. He returned to the room across from hers to keep a silent vigil. Lan had never been the praying type, but he found himself praying to the Light that she would heal. He spent the night in that room praying and begging for her health.   
The others found him early that morning in the spot he had occupied all night. One look at his troubled face and Elayne and Rand's anger at him melted. No one could doubt his grief. And so the companions passed the day. They were no longer allowed to visit her, she was too weak. Besides, the healer had said. She hasn't woken up yet.   
The next day was no different. They still weren't allowed to see her. The door was kept open so that the healer could get to them that much quicker, but still there was no change in her condition. The healer said that this was a good sign, yes she wasn't any better, but she wasn't worse. She said that Nyneave might even make it.   
That evening as they were keeping watch they heard footsteps approaching them. Thinking that it was the healer's apprentices, they all stood up and waited. Much to their shock, it was not the apprentices in the doorway, but Logain.   
Lan reached for his sword, only to remember that he was not wearing it. Mat, Birgitte, and Min each pulled a belt knife or two out. Rand drew on saidin and shielded him. Logain just smiled in amusement.   
"I take it you are Rand al'Thor? So I was right all those years ago in Caemlyn. You are ta'veren. And the true Dragon Reborn." Try as he might Rand couldn't detect any trace of resentment in his voice.   
"Hello Logain." Said Min, putting away her knife.   
"Hello Min. How are you?"   
"A good friend of mine is gravely injured. We're not sure whether or not she'll live. I'm just great." He voice was loaded with sarcasm. Logain's face grew grim. He looked at Elayne.   
"I heard through Black Tower gossip that The Dragon Reborn hadn't been seen for days. I also heard that he was at the sickbed of a friend. I thought that perhaps that it might be Nyneave." His voice grew quiet and concerned. "Is it?"   
Elayne nodded. "It is, but why do you care? What is she to you.?" Lan watched this exchange with morbid curiosity. This man seemed generally concerned about Nyneave. What were his feelings for her. Most important, what were her feeling for Logain. He noticed that everyone who had drawn a knife had sheathed it. The channelers had relaxed, and he assumed had released the Power.   
"She healed me. She gave me back my life and reason for living. I owe her a bigger debt then I can ever pay. I am here to pay my repects."   
Rand opened his mouth to say something, but was stopped by Min's hand on his arm. He looked at her and she shook her head. Turning slightly so that Logain couldn't see her face, she mouthed, aura. Rand nodded. Min said that a person's aura was easier for her to see as a vision, and just as accurate.   
Logain left with a servant they had flagged down to find a room. When he was out of earshot, Rand turned on Min and demanded to know what she had seen.   
"Like I told you, I saw his aura. He was sincere. He truly is here to see Nyneave. He means no harm. You can trust him."   
Before the others could say anything, one of the healer's apprentices burst into the room. "Mistress al'Meara is awake. She's going to be fine. left with a servant they had flagged down to find a room. When he was out of earshot, Rand turned on Min and demanded to know what she had seen.   
"Like I told you, I saw his aura. He was sincere. He truly is here to see Nyneave. He means no harm. You can trust him."   
Before the others could say anything, one of the healer's apprentices burst into the room. "Mistress al'Meara is awake. She's going to be fine. You can all see her." 

15 Minutes Later:   
Logain returned to the room the others had all been gathered in. There was no one there, but the room across the hall was full of voices and sounds of joy. He entered to find them all clustered around the bed of Nyneave al'Meara. He cleared his throat and the talking stopped. He walked over to her side and knelt down.   
"Hello Nyneave, how are you feeling?" He smiled at her, but this smile held no amusement, only warmth.   
"I've been better." She didn't smile back at him, but her voice was warm.   
Min barely restrained a gasp. Sometimes all she had to do was look at two people to know that they would fall in love and get married. And in their auras, she saw love and marriage. They would be happy. Lan. He was going to be so crushed. His aura was a blinding mixture of joy, love, and jealousy.   
Lan watched Logain and Nyneave exchange hellos. They were sitting very close. His fists clenched. He was starting to see red. How dare that man flirt with his love. Suddenly, he remembered his words from so long ago. "_I will hate the man you chose you chose because he is not me, and love him if he makes you smile_." He didn't know if he could keep that promise.   
He knew that he wouldn't be able to watch. He couldn't watch her be held by another man, be kissed by another man. He wouldn't be able to stand the look of love in her eyes, knowing that it wasn't him she dreamed of. He couldn't watch her have another man's children.   
That decided, he made to step forward. To get this man away from Nyneave. But Min was standing in front of him. He meant to step around her, but she moved to block his path. She motioned to him to follow her and headed towards the hall. When he didn't follow, she went back and grabbed his belt and tugged him out into the hall and into the room across from Nyneave's.   
Once they were in there, she shut the door. "Lan, I think you should sit down. I have some bad news." Lan sat down in the nearest chair. "It's about Nyneave. About Nyneave and Logain. I know you still love her. I know that you want to tell her and win her heart back. But it wouldn't do any good."   
"What does that have to do with Logain?" Lan asked, dreading the answer that he already suspected.   
"They are falling in love." Lan dropped his head in his hands. "Lan, I'm sorry, but they're going to get married." His head snapped up at that.   
"What?" He looked at her and saw the truth of it in her eyes. "Is there any hope for her and I?" Min silently shook her head.   
Lan dropped his head back into his hands. He rocked back and forth, silently. Min left him to his grief. Alone, Lan rocked for a few minutes until anger took him. In a fit of anger and dispare, he slammed his fists against the wall and broke the chair he had been sitting in. He didn't cry. He was beyond tears. Destroying the chair seemed to help him gain some control. He crumpled on the floor, not moving, he just stayed there, trying to picture life without her.   
  
Later that night: 

Min watched from the shadows as Lan snuck back into Nyneave's room. He entered her bedroom and looked at her for a moment. He whispered something to low for her to hear clearly, but it sounded like Mashiara.   
Lan left the palace that night. They didn't know where he was for months. Myrelle told Egwene that he had come back. That was the last time Nyneave ever saw him. Min saw him at Nyneave's wedding a year later. Watching from the shadows, he wept when Nyneave said "I do" and mouthed "I do" when Logain answered. She never told anyone that he was there, they all just thought that she was crying for happiness.   
That wasn't the last time someone thought they saw someone in the shadows. And later, when their Nyneave and Logain's children went to the White Tower to be trained, their son spoke of a tall man who would appear out of no when he was practicing the sword. Their son told them that the man was always hooded, and he never got a look at his face. This man would just appear, give him some advice on sword forms, watch him until he got it write, then just melted back into the shadows.   
Their daughter once told her mother that when she was in the city of Tar Valon on an errand, she was followed. She didn't get a look at his face, but every time someone started to approach her, she felt the man come closer and who ever bothered her would go away in a hurry. She stopped several times, trying to see who was following her, but she could never see him.   
At her children's tales, Nyneave would close her eyes and think of al'Lan Mandragoran and wonder if it was him. For an instant, her heart would ache, and his ring in her belt purse would seem to grow heavier. But then her husband would smile at her or hug her, and all thoughts of him would vanish. But to her dying day, his ring stayed in her belt purse. 

What do you all think? 


	7. Ending C

Hey people! Here is ending C. I just wanted to let you all know that I read your reviews and am giving in to your demands to have another chapter where Lan and Nyn. get together. I think that some of you would actually carry out those death threats in your reviews and emails. 

Ending C 

Lan looked down at Nyneave. Her eyes were open and she was looking at him. There was a pained look in her eyes. But he couldn't tell if the pain was physical or emotional. She attempted to sit up. Attempted. She was barely able to sit up. He rushed forward to ease her back down. Only to have her jerk away from him as hard as her condition allowed. Slowly, painstakingly, she raised her self up a little bit at a time. Only when she was finally resting against the headboard did Lan move away from her.   
He sat down on the bed, despite her pointed glances at the chair on the other side of the room.   
"How much did you hear?"   
"You mean when did I wake up?" He nodded. "When you first started talking. I wasn't asleep very deep." Her voice was weak and raspy. He held her eyes with his. She hadn't given any indication of how she felt about him.   
"Can you ever forgive me? I love you so much. I never meant to hurt you." She sighed, a deep, bone weary sigh that reinforced her condition to Lan.   
"Lan I forgave you months ago." He felt his heart soar at her words. She had forgiven him, she might even still love him. "But, Lan I don't trust you." The bloom of hope in his soul died at her words. Love couldn't exist without trust.   
"How can I make it up to you? What do I need to do to prove to you how I feel." He said as his eyes searched her face rapidly, hoping for some clue, some indication of exactly where he stood with her.   
"I don't know. I can't tell you that sort of thing. I can't tell you how to earn my trust any more then I can tell you how to breathe. You simply have figure it out on your own."   
"But if I earned your trust again. If I could prove to you that I am here to stay this time, could you learn to love me again.?" She gave him a bittersweet smile.   
"Who said anything about learn again? I still love you Lan, and I always will. But I'm afraid that you will leave me again. Just like you always have. Lan, I'm afraid of you."   
She was afraid of him. She was afraid of him. Lan just sat there as the knowledge washed over him in a wave of horror. He had hurt her so badly that she was afraid of him. The Light burn his soul for frightening her.   
He forgot all about abiding by her wishes. He caught her up in a fierce hug, rocking her back and forth. At first she tried to get away, but he ignored her efforts. He needed her in his arms, and he suspected that she needed to be held. So he held her and whispered into her ears.   
He never could remember just what he whispered to her. Maybe he whispered pleas of forgiveness. Perhaps he begged her never to fear him. Perhaps he whispered words of love. And maybe, he whispered a combination of them all. He just knew that soon, she stopped struggling and started to hug him back. Dawn found them sitting on her bed, holding onto each other. Doing nothing else but hold eachother, both truly happy for the first time in a long time.   
And then she started coughing. Not just little coughs, but deep, hacking coughs. Lan looked on in fear as the healer tended her. He held her hand for the next three days as she slept, growing steadily worse. He never left her side, even after the others tried to forcibly get him out of the room.   
But after days without sleep, he finally succumbed to exhaustion. He fell asleep on his knees beside her bed, with his head near her hand. A gentle movement in his hair woke him up. Nyneave was running her hands through his hair! He sat up and put a hand on her forehead. Her fever was over. She was going to be alright.   
"Lan, did you leave my side at all?" He shook his head. She smiled and crocked a finger at him. He leaned closer to her. "Are you going to kiss me or not?"   
And of course, he did. 

How was that for ya? 


End file.
